Attention boyfriends of the world! Prepare for some schooling on the ins and outs of your girlfriend's mind, heart, and intimate needs. Once you understand her better, you'll spend less time in the dog house and more time in her good graces.
1. Hormones and Cravings Are Real
No, it's not a myth made up by an ancient goddess who passed her teachings down to generations of women. Sure both men and women have hormones, but our bodies come with a menstrual cycle and house tiny humans for nine months. So, excuse us if we get a little cranky sometimes or absolutely must have McDonald's fries and a McFlurry at 2 am. A little patience with us and you'll reap the rewards when all is clear down there.
2. Your Ex's Cutesy Nicknames Aren't so Cute Anymore
A woman wants to feel like her man's one and only, the peanut butter to his jelly, his sunshine on a rainy day. So it is not OK to keep calling your ex-girlfriend babe, hun, sweetheart, or any of the lovey-dovey nicknames you call your current girl. Picture this. You get an unexpected call from your ex and end the conversation with, "Bye, babe." Now maybe you're wondering, "What guy would be stupid enough to call his ex 'babe' in front of his current girlfriend?" But believe, it happens -- could be by default or just sheer stupidity. Either way, it happens, and is so not OK!
3. Grand Gestures Are Out of Style
For some reason, so many of you men think it's better to take the 'all-or-nothing approach' when it comes to a night out. But guess what? The little things count, a lot. There's no need to always go to 'Chez Whatever it's Called' or take her on a magical helicopter ride with a throne made out of five dozen rose petals. Those things are nice, sure, but so is staying in. Burn a few candles and cook for her instead. Bring home her favorite candy bar just 'cause. You'll be surprised by how happy it will make her.
4. We're Here to Support You
Maybe it's a macho thing, or maybe you men are just plain stubborn, but give us a chance to help you out sometimes. Don't just sit around stewing over a problem. Let us know what's up and maybe even give your lady the chance to help. It's okay for you to come to us as much as we come to you. Think of all the times you spent listening to us ramble on and on about our problems. Let us to support you, too. We promise not to tell the home boys -- or whatever you call your boys group.
5. We Can Be Feminists While You Can Be Chivalrous
Yes, we can install a shelf on the wall. And we are fully capable of opening a car door, but sometimes it's nice when you do it for us. It's not about you being a man slave. If we send you to the kitchen for some water, then maybe we're being lazy. But little things like making sure our gas tank is filled, the oil is changed, and tire pressure is up to par... it makes us feel gushy and well cared for. That's all we want. But don't get it twisted. We're still the girl bosses who can do all of those things for ourselves the second you're not around.
6. A Lady Cave Is Just As Important As a Man Cave
Maybe even more! A little separation from the wife and kids is essential for a man, but we ladies need to get away sometimes, too. We need time and space to unwind and not constantly think about what the kids are going to eat, or how many different moves we need to try in the bedroom to spice up our relationship. This place doesn't even need to be in the house -- a monthly trip to the spa or an all girl weekend vacay works.
7. Love Languages Are Real
Every woman wants to know her man understands and speaks her love language. Often, when we don't feel cherished in our relationships, it's because we're speaking a different (love) language from our partner and don't even realize it. What's a love language? It's how someone shows their love. You may do it with words, but your girlfriend might show her love by spending quality time with you. So she's getting more "you mean the world to me" speeches than the date nights she craves, and you're not hearing the words you need from her.
If one or both of you isn't feeling the love, take some time to discover each other's love language. What are they? Words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
8. Don't Tend To Women's Needs. Tend to Your Woman's Needs.
Guys, remember the feeling when you opened that limited-edition basketball signed by your favorite player that your girlfriend got you for your birthday? And do you remember her face when she saw the outrageously flashy necklace you her bought for hers? For some reason, so many of you guys have a preconceived notion that all women are the same and want the same things. However, many of us couldn't care less about material objects and care more about the effort. You know, the effort to find out what she really wants and loves? (She didn't get you a signed ball by someone else's favorite player, now did she?) Don't get us wrong, though. If you want to shower us with both, we'll gladly accept everything you have to offer.
9. We Spend Time on Ourselves... So Should You
Guys are always complaining about the three hours it takes us to put on makeup, choose an outfit, and curl our hair so it has just the right amount of bounce. Meanwhile, you take a five minute shower, throw on whatever's clean, and spend the next two hours and 50 minutes complaining about having to wait. How about instead of complaining, you spend some time shaving, putting on a little cologne, making sure your breath is fresh, and taking out the shirt and slacks she bought you for your birthday. A little effort goes a long way for us. (Also stop complaining. You're only making it worse.)
10. We Want to Be Challenged
Don't misunderstand guys, we don't want you to be a pain in the butt, nor do we want a doormat. Yes, we want a number one fan - foam finger and all - but we also need you to hold us accountable and push back when we're being hardheaded. If we set goals, ask us how it's going. If we slip up, bring it to our attention. You catch the drift right? We can take full responsibility for actions, but - and here comes the cheesiness - it's nice to have someone who wants to see us be the best version of ourselves. We'll do it for you, too.
Women 101 Dismissed
Armed with this insight and with proper execution, the nagging will start to subside. We can't promise it will stop completely; we're still women. (What can we say? We have high standards.) Good luck and may the feminine gods be with you on your journey to understanding the fairer sex. And ladies, show this to your man and maybe - just maybe - he'll get a clue.
